why hello

Hey

This is just an update, I seem to have been slacking as far as this whole blog this goes.
I would love to say im going to blog more often from now on, I would love to make some great weekly commitment to this blog, but im not sure if thats going to happen for I know myself quite well.

I have been wondering though to what extent I actually know myself. I accept the fact that God, being my creator, knows me more then I know myself. I know that. He knows my crooked heart, he knows my devious ways, he knows my inmost being.

Looking at my actions and thoughts subjectively helps me understand the way I think. Almost like im my own lab patient or something, and I test my beliefs on myself. Not a bad thing at all, I don't think, its good to make sure your applying what you believe to yourself before telling it to others. Or else you are being a hypocrite I believe.

But in other ways I do not even attempt to know myself. I let other people make those judgments. Im not talking about in moral ways but more in outward ways, my appearance, my attitude, that sort of stuff.

I am huge proponent of being you.

There is some line from some song or a poem or some something that goes...

its all in the attitude
be who you want to be
express your
individuality

its sort of a bouncy and fast hip-hop poppy jam, maybe i just made this up in the shower or something, who knows...

But I certainly believe in being ones self. Discovering who that person is, discovering your loves, your passions, your interests, your talents, your beautiful uniqueness and not running from those things.

Im a big anti-conformity sort of person as well. I really marvel at my beautiful little brothers and sisters with all those piercings all over their face and other body parts...Some of those beautiful people have died hair. I like the people that wear women's clothing as well, I think that's quite brave. I admire that. I really do.

I saw this one guy who was wearing Uptowns (Nike 80$) and he had two plastic bags over each of them and was walking around campus like that. Because it was raining. I did not admire that. I really did not. That was sort of wack, I mean, come on man. There are better ways to get attention. I hope hes not reading this...

I like the boys who wear shirts that you can see their belly buttons, but their not gay. Thats crazy son... How do people do that? Its amazing...

Im sort of a "take back the gay look from gay people" kind of guy too. Like the rainbow thing, I like rainbows man, but im sort of upset that they have to represent homosexuality. I don't really have a issue with it, i just wish I could sport it with out being judged accordingly. Why cant they have like a purple and green theme? I think that's better...but im not here to tell you how do be gay. No sir. Not me.

Im also, believe it or not, a big "dont be so homophobic you idiot" sort of guy. I think a lot of times people have these uncomfortable feelings towards homosexuals, more so in men, because they are not confident of their own masculinity. I know that is true with many of my friends. Your not gay, the other guy is gay, why cant we all just be friends?

I guess it is sort of uncomfortable to be hit on by another guy...

Well perhaps I will get into that in a later post.

This one time I was in a coffee house called Javas and I was with my two close friends, JJ and Phil, and we are all straight kind of guys. We were talking to a big crowd of artsy, coffee drinking, philosophy addicted, radical, life changing, cool, cloudy kind of people. JJ was making these paper flowers out of news paper. I muts admit, they were pretty cool looking. He might of been showing off but they were pretty darn cool looking.

A friend of mine walked in and we said hello and she went to sit with her respected crowd of cool artsy, stylish, and loud friends. One of these loud friends from my friends table was obviously gay. You could tell my the remarks, and the hair, and the voice, you know, that gay thing was certianly going on. So my friend made this special newspaper flower just for him. Then he stepped right up to him and gave it to him.

It was a beautiful moment.

Gay people have wonderful smiles. JJ has a pretty nice smile as well. All these smiles.

Why can't we have more smiles?

I hope I don't judge them unrightfully, I am getting better in these sort of dealings.

Well

I should get going.

These opinions are not solidified and could change and improve and be denied and be argued and discussed at any moment in time. Im open for discussion and debate. Especially through this whole facebook message thing or email.

Aight much love my family

Thank you for reading

-j