I have decided

Oh to blog, to blog again.

But I think I will continue blogging, or start blogging again. A lot has happened since my last post which I think was just some random memory like poems, and I have a lot to say. So, electronically, via the internet and my 4 year old powerbook, I will start blogging again.

I have decided something though, I will blog about absolutely whatever I want.

I have to face the fact eventually that I am horribly disorganized and will never have individual blogs for my individual interests.

With that, im going to fetch a ride to Church with my pop, steal my mom's car from her sushi dinner meeting, and read a old book in cafe corner. Then, somehow, grab my bike from work and ride it home, maybe stuff it in the car.

My room is a mess and my head feels the same. Everywhere, scrambled. Tomorrow will be a little more clear.

It rained icy cold rain today. I ate three bagels.

-john

PS - wrote this a while ago, finally posted it because I cannot post from my laptop.

Italy! Where are you?

Left field

Some things happen

Reactions follow

When does your character change?

When does it actually hit home?

-----

And I think its going to rain today

-----

this is just wack
we skip stones with energy
this should be easy
-----
Tuesday came and went
Tomorrow I renew vows
Or maybe the next
-----
Easy come, hard to go
Like a long drawn out rain
That encompasses it all
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No if's, and's, or but's
Thats just not how it works
Hope always dies last

Obama quote

Is Barack the one we have been waiting for? Or is it the other way around? Are we the people we have been waiting for? Barack Obama is giving voice and space to an awakening beyond his wildest expectations, a social force that may lead him far beyond his modest policy agenda.

— Tom Hayden, endorsing the Obama Movement

Poem

NOTHING IS AS IT SEEMS
by Courtney Druz

Courtney Druz is a Jewish poet, mother, and former architect now living in New Jersey. Her poems have appeared in several publications including the current issue of Entelechy: Mind & Culture. She holds a BA in religious studies from Brown University and a MArch from the University of Pennsylvania.

It matters that this is true:
that pushing the stroller up the hill,
filled with sleeping boy and girl,
I thought about my muscles and
didn’t see the sky like smoke
at four o’clock, the drying trees
like black veins in the gray.

It matters that I thought
about my boots, that they were good,
and didn’t hear the red-eyed cars
rushing like wind, their terrible trumpets,
then the whisper of leaves.

All I saw, all at once,
black letters
stenciled on the pavement like a cut into stone,
the black showing through from a great distance:
NOTHING IS AS IT SEEMS

Float

float

float, said the man

the world spurns failure
a latent truth


while the man told me to float

Apathy

We may have found a cure for most evils; but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all -- the apathy of human beings. - Helen Keller

Most human beings have an infinite capacity for taking things for granted. - Aldous Huxley

The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it. - Albert Einstein

Every difficulty slurred over will be a ghost to disturb your repose later on. - Frederic Chopin

Mourn not the dead that in the cool earth lie, but rather mourn the apathetic, throng the coward and the meek who see the world's great anguish and its wrong, and dare not speak. - Ralph Chaplin

I have a very strong feeling that the opposite of love is not hate -- it's apathy. It's not giving a damn. - Leo Buscaglia

I don't know, I don't care, and it doesn't make any difference! - Jack Kerouac

Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins. - James 4/17

Why

Why are their twelve months? Why not two big months? Or 52 small ones? Why weeks for that matter?

What about 24 hour days?

Why can't man rebel against the scorch of the sun and the cool of the moon, and live in a rebellious 33 hour day? I could use the extra hours... Then we go to work at night sometimes, and at day sometimes. We see the sunrise more often. There is no such thing as an overnight job really, because some of the time it would be during the.

We will ever be dictated by Gods hand; by the seasons, the sun, and the moon. By 24 hour body cycles. It is the way the designer created us. It could not be random.

Ah

So im still in the deciding process of what blogs to scrap and which ones to continue. This blog will for sure stay the way it is. I want to do some side blogs, photography maybe, sociology? Theology? Any ideas?

hmm..

World news. Politics. Goodness, maybe I should start by just updating this more often.

Today was cold and windy. I walked by the Anna river in the same clothes I wore yesterday; the same clothes I fell asleep in.

I drank coffee very quickly this morning.

There was a bit of nudity in class today, more then usual. In fashion nudity is just the way to be I suppose. Cosimo, the professor showed 3 or 4 slide shows, so much nudity. Fine art nudity, as they call it. Its not vulgar, Cosimo always points out.

I get angry and confused sometimes.

I get overwhelmed sometimes.

I think june bugs just need more time to themselves...just the little junebugs and a guitar perhaps. Singing to the swaying grass...why can't life be like that?

-john

Shadow of Death

Back to blogging..

So I am in Italy, I have a lot to write about regarding Italy, and a lot to write about in genereal. Im going to reformat this blog and my other ones, and maybe start some joint ones with more dedicated bloggers. I miss all my friends and family.

God is still good and very faithful.

I wrote this in response to a post on my facebook wall by Cat. Thanks Cat.

Seek God





I am completely formatted in a way that needs Jesus. My heart simply pulsates in desperation of the Spirit of God. I can't imagine life without Jesus. My heart needs Jesus, my bones need Jesus; all I am is entangled with Christ. For some reason, God looks down at us with undying love, and I can do nothing but bask in this love and return in my feeble ways.

God is God, treat Him as such.

So Here I Am

Getting closer each day...

Oh!

Im in Italy

Im in Italy

Im in Italy

One of those nights (Lots of links..)

A couple nights ago I came home with batteries for my camera.

Its an old Nikon FE, probably built in the 80's or late 70's. Its a pretty valuable cheap thing, respected but low grade.

I came home after shopping in the mall all day with my little sister and my girlfriend. Jeans and pajama's and sweaters later, I drove home, grabbed my bass and a bowl of dinner, and drove to the heart of downtown with Heather to play in the Remix - a new urban intensive outreach Mike Peace is running.

Worship was hot at the remix. God moved and spoke in the faithful way he does when you shut up, move over and let him.

Among the things I learned at the Remix were:

• Our spiritual maturity is measured by how willing we are to be used by God; how open we are to God. You can be a very old Christian and not be spiritually mature, while be a "baby Christian" and be very open to God, i.e. very mature in Christ.
  
• We are called to stand in the gap for our families, our friends, and our city.
  
• Its alright to question the things of God and be question, be secure anyways.

Ah, it was a great service. Homeless people, engaged couples, suburbs, thug, prep, all worshiping God. Quite a social scene, quite a glimpse of Heaven.

When I finally got home at about 1:30am, after country sweet chicken, I Love Lucy, and a cold front porch conversation, I put those batteries I bought for my camera in.

I only had 100 ISO film, so I could only shoot in very bright light. It was dark outside. It was 1:30am.

I didn't plan to take any pictures, really. It had already been a wonderful, long night. But while I was making hot cocoa I got inspired by the ingredients I was using: salt, vanilla extract, sugar, cocoa, and a brown tall ceramic mug to put them all into.

So I got that old Nikon FE out. I turned this funky bent clip light on that my dad uses to help him gut fish out in the sink and shone it on my ingredients. Then I just started taking long exposure pictures, balancing my camera on the kitchen counter and using the self timer so I wouldn't blur the pictures when I pressed the shutter release.

Sasha came by and sat on the edge of the sink, then lied down and fell asleep. I took many pictures of that fat gray cat of ours.

Then I at a quarter of a chocolate cake and fell asleep with my jeans on.

This is my winter vacation.

Rwanda

Sudan

finally we are no one




-mum